If you have a child starting Kindergarten this episode is not to be missed.
As a former preschool owner, I've supported lots of families with this shift and I thought it would be fun and informative to sit with a veteran Kindergarten teacher to have a conversation about how you can support your children with this shift.
Our conversation focuses in on actionable strategies to support three areas:
2) Speaking for Needs
Note: In the episode I share one of the strategies from my program Building Resilience Through Kindness for building skills for emotional regulation and I also note that I would include some of my favourite books in the show notes.
Book recommendations for building a Feelings Vocabulary:
A blog detailing some of my favourites can be found HERE
If you want to take the next step in setting yourself up for success this school year, enrol in my mini-course The Art of Saying Goodbye. You will learn how to build a customized goodbye routine, how to gather parent clues to handle the ‘one mores’ and the importance of developing an understanding of goodbye with your child.
Enrol by clicking the link here
This podcast is produced, mixed and edited by Cardinal Studio. For more information about how to start your own podcast visit their website or email firstname.lastname@example.org.
Come hang out with me on my page dedicated to all things related to the Raising Resilient Children with Tara Podcast! You can submit comments or ask questions that I might select for my upcoming LIVE Q & A monthly feature! Don't forget to say hi!
Click here to head over to Tara's Podcast Page
This podcast is produced, mixed and edited by Cardinal Studio.
Welcome to my Back to School a Special Series where I've got something for all the ages and stages from starting kindergarten to transitioning from middle to high school. I'll be sharing tips, tools and strategies as well as speaking with some special guest experts to support you as we prepare to head to school. Hello, and welcome. I'm Tara, the founder of Raising Resilient Children, where I support parents and educators with tools and skills for feelings, kindness, and everyday mental well being also known as social emotional skills and empathy. As a longtime educator, former preschool owner and parents, I know that there is no cookie cutter approach to raising children and information can be overwhelming. Let's tackle some of this by having some important conversations and digging into some different topics. They need to be able to do on their own? Okay, right. The big Being able to actually and I think about the first days and fancy school word will say might be independence, right? the first weeks, and occasionally the first month of school, they need to be actually able to enter the building on their own. Right. Okay. Yes. Right? Because that's, that's dramatic. Right? It's hard. And it's very different if they've been at daycare, or if they've been at an in home daycare, childminding, whatever. Yeap. It's different than holding mom or dad's hand, into the space, because that doesn't happen at school. Right? It's very much a goodbye, actually, I have a course on this, which is called The Art of Saying Goodbye. And it's, it's designed with my preschool brain in mind and the transition and preparing kids for almost seven and a half years of the transition from preschool to kindergarten. And this idea of like, how do we foster a connected, but ultimately a goodbye, where we can let our kids go and start their day. And not be late for work? I'm gonna be honest, there's a piece of my course it's about that. That's the parent side, right? Like the kid side receiving three or four? Freshly five year old? Yeah, yes, you are safe here. I'm nice. I promise you met me maybe once for half an hour? Yes. Right. What's that whole, like trust, right? And how do we build that right on our side, as parents, we have to build that we're transferring our trust from us to that other caring adult. Right, and help them understand that their teacher is somebody they can trust, and is somebody they can go to. And in most classrooms, at least in Ontario, where I where I am, there's also an a second and ECE in the classrooms. Not always the case. But sort of giving them the idea that that person is somebody that they can connect with, and that you trust them, right that you, you put their faith in them. And I call kids emotional radars, they feed off our energy and you can't fake it to make it a lot of people are like, fake it to make it. When it comes to your emotional status, you actually can't it's actually better to own your feelings. Because change is hard, transitions are hard. There's something I talked about in the high school transition podcast actually, that that concept, that's a lifelong process, the ability to adapt to change, right. So in terms of independence, it starts with, we got to go to school. And what happens? I mean, we were just talking about numbers, right? So we're talking about classrooms that are somewhere between 22 and 30, hopefully yearh, with one or two adults. So independence is a really important concept. Right. So what kinds of things they need to do? Coming into the building. So I'm just walking through the day, coming into the building on their own, taking off shoes, because you're gonna have indoor and outdoor shoes. Right. Taking off shoes. That's a thing, right? Yes. Which means you got to practice it. Right, right. It's a skill. Way easier for parents to do In seven seconds, but let the child have seven minutes to do it. Yes, yes, when you're building the skill, put in extra time in your day. Right, you're gonna have to help. Like, this is gonna be coming out in August, the beginning of August. If you're starting school in September, start as soon as you hear this podcast, it's gonna take you the next four weeks, to have your child be able to independently put on their shoes and take off their shoes, and you got to do it in stages. And make sure your shoes are labeled. Why is that important? Why does it matter that stuff is labeled? Well, we were just talking about in wintertime. Looking at there was and I remember there was a size nine a size 10, a size 11 and a size 12 of the exact same SpiderMan boot. Right. And none of them had names in them. But we were lucky enough that they were all different sizes that we knew this was 123 and four kids, right. But that's not independent, right? No. The fact that an adult has to go check the shoe size is not independence. So make sure it's labeled with some stickers or however you want to label them and in a way that your child recognizes, right, the monkey sticker is my shoe. So I'm the monkey Spider Man boot. That's me. So I can find it in the mass of however many shoes are lined up. Okay, so we get there shoes off. And then indoor shoes on, which is a whole separate thing. Yes. Closely linked, but very, not so much for literacy, but very much for independence. And a solid sense of belong is for your child to be able to recognize their name. Right? Right. Because then I know that's my hook. There's 28 empty hooks, but that one has my name. Right. And if you're struggling, like if you have a child who is not there yet, start with getting them to recognize the first letter of their name. So if your child is not at all able to recognize sort of a full word at this point, start with the letter, right and build the name out. But you'd be surprised you can do activities with chalk on the sidewalk, you can point out things if you're getting stickers for your belongings, that's a great way to start name recognition. So again, this is a skill is going to take you the entire month of August if they don't already have it. So I love this shoes off shoes on find our cubby based on our names. Or however the teacher organizes it. Right. Right. It may be Yeah, they might have a spot, they must have some kind of indicator typically. Right? Right. Independence in changing their clothes, because inevitably, there's going to be some change if it's not a bathroom accident. It going to be mud, or rain paint or, or they don't like the playdough splash or whatever else. Right? So to be able to take off an article of clothing and put on an article of clothing, right? Belts are probably not necessary. Yeah, the easier the better. So I think a lot of people wait till the end of the summer to buy their kids clothes. I always told my preschool clients, get the clothes they're going to wear for school, in the summer, start practicing what they're going to wear at school. Right now. Right? And again, if your child's new to this skill, first start with the first layer of clothing, right? I'll give you an example. Put the head over the shirt, and then they do the arms. Then they learn how to put the head, right, you put their feet in the hole they pull up, then they figure out where to put their feet in the hole. Right. So think of dressing as stages if you haven't done this at all yet. And I think an important part of this conversation is they don't have help. Right? Wellll. Yeah. Not. There's been a lot of coaching from the bathroom door. Yes. Right. But you actually can't go in. Right. No. I think there's a lot of misinformation about that teachers cannot actually go into washrooms. It is against their contracts. And and there's legality around that. So one of the things is, there's coaching but you can't actually physically help them do stuff. ECEs have slightly differentrules and regulations. And yeah, depending but, so one of the things that is very different than daycare and preschool is it's not hands on. Right. So the coaching is all verbal, which I think is a great connection to another piece of getting ready for kindergarten. And what is that that's how do we speak and advocate. Right? and can your child actually talk? Right? Can they say, Hey, I need to go change my clothes. Right. And depending how the classroom is organized, the clothes might be in their cubby, they might be in their backpack. They might be in a separate place altogether. Or I need to go to the bathroom depending on if it's not too late. Yeah, right. Like this is a biological.we're there for seven hours a day. Yes, we are going to need to use the washroom. Right? Right. But for the child to say like and be comfortable enough to say, I need, I need this thing to go whatever I would drink, can you help me get my backpack off the hook? Right, whatever, because we can do that. And parents spending August saying and helping you know, we need to use the washroom, you need to tell me and when you're in school, you're gonna say teacher, I need to like you need to model the language that your child can use, and the teachers are all gonna sort of tweak it right, they all have their own systems. Some have hand gestures, some systems, there's different classrooms, but if you can help your child build some sort of base skills around what they need to do, by getting them to do it, and it'll feel a bit weird, you're like, we're at home, like they just run to the washroom, it's, we need to help them because when there's A) people in line for the washroom, you got that piece, right, and helping the adults that will help the teachers get to know your child faster as well, if they can advocate for themselves if you've created some base skills. And one of the things about I mean, the washroom specifically, this is something I always want to mention it because I know it's something that comes up in my work quite a bit is being able to totally clean yourself is a really difficult skill. Really hard, wiping is not easy. So give your child some space and grace if there's some leftover sometimes, because it's actually not them. It's their skill development, their gross fine motor development skills aren't always there, depending especially depending on how much they've been doing it. So I know it can be really upsetting for some parents to be like You're dirty. Just keep in mind a little like tip there is that it's actually a skill that's really quite complex. So as you're doing this transition to preschool to sorry to kindergarten, remember that in preschool daycare, someone probably did an after wipe, a little helpful wipe. And in kindergarten, they can't. Right. Another picture that is the actual physical space. So families can and should be in the washroom in their child's classroom. Okay. My last, actually at every single school, the kindergarten washrooms, the actual toilet is adult size. okay with this. So these little bodies are balancing. Right, right. Yeah, which they would do at home. Right. So then home, but it's different, right? Like, the school, the classroom that I have has the split at the front. Okay, in right. So they used to have this cool step. It was really cool. Right? And if you can't, if you can't go into the school, because I know that some leftover COVID rules are that you can't go just ask your teacher, hey, do you have the little people size ones? Or do you have the adult size? What does that look like? To help your kid transition? Because then again, same same with using the same language, then you have the same actual vision of what's happening. Right? Yeah. Which is so helpful, right? Kids need to know, they're not great with gray. They're not great with abstract thinking. So the more concrete you can be in helping that transition, feel predictable. That's where you're gonna get some great sort of helpful tips for your child. So in the in the zone of speaking, what other things we need to talk about washroom needs, what else we need to be able to talk about what I need. And you know what, when I'm sad, and I'm crying, as a little person, I need to, I need to be able to say, I'm hungry. Right? We didn't have breakfast this morning. Mummy was in a race. Right? Right. I didn't get my last hug at the door, whatever it is, whatever it is, because that will clue in the daytime grownups to where the headspace and heart space is. Right little person, right. And talking then and talking that way about what I need and my feelings. This year in particular, we had a little one who really was showing the effects of the last few years she would parallel play. I've heard this a lot. I've heard this a lot from my KG friends is that this year was a different year. Because these, especially the year one kinders, they were coming from mommy and living room. And that's it. Right? So this little one in particular, my heart broke for her. She could not she didn't have the words to say, Can I play? Yes, the language of play. Right, right, is just that entry into socializing. She would play right beside doing the exact same thing but never actually together. Right, which is something for parents. What we're talking about is something that I used to see in preschool. So part of my job as a preschool teacher was watching and helping facilitate that transition from what we call parallel play. That's where we were kids play beside each other to interactive play. And that's where kids start to play together. And by kindergarten, although truthfully, some of the three year olds aren't there yet, even in kindergarten, but by kindergarten kids are starting to interact with each other. And you know what, some of the six year old leaving kindergarten still aren't there yet. It's true. 100% true. It's It's interesting. It's this is something I've talked about in my course, is this idea of like how kids operate and where they are, is such a spectrum of learning and trajectories. And the language of play is something that we have to sometimes help facilitate, right is this idea of like, I always, this is an example from my course I talked about, like kids who grab shovels, they're not ill intent. They're, they're not grabbing a shovel to be a jerk. But that's not actually what's happening. They see the shovel, they think the show was awesome. And they want it. So they take it, they don't have the impulse control, to not take it in certain cases. Some kids do it. Again, I'm talking about the spectrum here. But they also aren't doing it to be mean, they're not thinking, hey, this is going to make my friends upset. And in that I have something called Parent clues. And here's your parent clue for that. But my parent clue is my child doesn't have language of play. They don't know how to ask for the toy. They don't know how to give and take with the toy. So I think one of things you're talking about here is, you know, spend some time this summer making sure that your child has a few bits of language to support play is that? Absolutely, absolutely. And I'm just kind of like daydreaming as you're saying this? I'm like, Yeah, because the school words we use or think alouds right, right. As a parent, there's nothing wrong with monologuing your day. Yeah, I call it narration. Right. Yeah, that's narration i and this is a tool I use for feelings. So you know, this, our last topic is self regulation, which is a big topic. But this is where I use narration. So we as adults are constantly going a mile a minute inside our brains, right? Our inner voice is going on a super fast trajectory. And we assume even with people like in our lives, that sort of people can mind read us, and when it comes to feelings. That's the one that we don't talk a lot about. So one of the things I talk about is how do we use narration to help kids understand what we're feeling through different things like, normally we might in our head be like, Oh, this is so frustrating. I'm so angry. We would never say that out loud. Right? The package is late, where narration can actually help your pre K kids with understanding how frustrated you feel when the package is like late, right? Oh, man, I have feel so frustrated that this package was delivered late, I really needed it by 10 o'clock. I think I need to do some deep breathing. So that's the part two, I'm narrating the feelings so that they know that we experience a range of feelings. And then the part two is I'm showing you I need a tool for my feelings. Yeah. Right. So yeah, so you guys, what do you guys call it? I call it a narration you call it? Oh, think aloud. Okay. Take your inner voice out. And then exactly as you say, You okay, yeah, exactly as you say, body calm. But kids don't know that process. Yeah, right. And we assume they do. The interesting thing about self regulation. And sort of, this is the sphere that I've been spending my time in. And I've known Natalie, we actually did our masters together. So I've known Natalie a long time, even that it's true. We went to high school together, I just forgot about. But one of the things that I looked at in my master's was the importance of social emotional intelligence. Now, at the time, it wasn't called that that's sort of new new rage, right? But I looked at how do we use literacy to address empathy and bullying? Right. So how do we help kids understand each other? And since doing that, what I've learned about emotions and things like that is kids don't have a great (adults too) don't have a great understanding of feelings. And it's almost impossible to regulate. If you don't know that feeling that you need to, to regulate with. So you can identify. Yeah, you shared with me before we hopped on here that one of the big goals of kindergarten is self regulation. What does that mean? So if we think about if we think about how he's like an old term, a temper tantrum, if we think about a kid having a meltdown, a freak out. When you think about an adult having those same emotions, yeah, what we actually physically see and hear is totally different. Right? So self regulation, and there's so many parts and it's such a big thing for kindergarten. And now I think it's coming out with the kind of growth mindset and permissions and mental health emphasis lately. I think it's coming out to the general population is the idea that I feel this way. Yep. Or I can see body clues. Yes, this other person got. So I am now going to adjust what I am doing. Right? So to get to kind of diffuse and bring everybody back to green for go, right? I call that. So what like temper tantrum meltdown? I call that the the reactions to those unwanted behaviors, right? So the things that we we don't necessarily want to see hitting, punching, kicking screaming, right? And then I say so if we we have that as an outlet, kids and adults, everybody, we actually need to do something with those feelings, right? So if we're not allowed to kick, hit, scream, whatever we're doing, what are we allowed to do? And those are tools for our feelings, right? So if we start to see what the clues are in our body, and understand that other people have feelings, too, and maybe they're not the same as my feelings, but we also start to learn that, hey, when I have this angry feeling, and I'm at school, I need to make lemonade, right where I squeeze my hands and I release, squeeze my hands and release. This is a journey. Right? So this one's this topic isn't going to happen before September? No. No, but it may not happen by your 50th birthday. Yeah, this is a journey. Social Emotional Learning is a journey. And as I just mentioned, like it's only really been a hot topic for eight years. I joke that my master's is like I was talking about feelings before it was cool. I didn't know what it was going to become. But I think it's super cool that that's where we've come to. But I also know that part of this journey is we come from a world where feelings were meant to be suppressed. Right? You were stronger for your ability to suppress them. Now, it's been prioritized in education. It's been prioritized in parenting, hey, we got to do things differently. We can't do things punitively. We can't do things discipline, right, we got to do things differently. Here's the thing that I think is missing from this whole little puzzle. Where did adults get the skills? Where did they build the skills? Right? They don't. So don't feel bad. If you're like, Oh, my goodness, this is overwhelming. It is one of the things that I talk so much about in my work, because this is my sphere is sort of how do we build social emotional intelligence? How do we build self regulation? How do we, you know, foster kindness, those kinds of things. But the thing I like to reassure parents is one of the reasons that this particular topic is so difficult is because you didn't grow up with skills, right? You weren't taught them you were taught to suppress them. So the idea of a tool for a feeling, being able to identify your feeling, do something with your feeling. That's a skill building process. And I like to compare it to swimming. Right here, though, when you're swimming. Can you get across the Pool Safely? As a child not without adult assistance. We can't manage our feelings without some assistance. Yeah. Good. Do you need swimming lessons to get across the pool? Well, maybe. More then likely, right? Now, if you have lessons and you practice, you can swim lengths. Right? So it's this skill building process. And the pool is an example of like, there's some serious risk involved. If you don't know how to swim and you're on water, there's, there's some danger there. So I like to compare that to emotions, because it's like, Sure, can you doggy paddle away your way through? Absolutely. Is that going to be helpful, beneficial, and support you through your life journey? Your doggy paddling? So no, not really. Right? So your'e working really hard. Yeah. So it's doable, but it's not safe. Right? It's not supportive. So that's sort of one of the things I'd like to talk about in terms of self regulation. So entering KG, yeah. What would you expect, hope for what's something that parents can work on. So we've talked about some things they need to do for independence, getting dressed, putting their shoes on, I'm also going to add in there, if you haven't got your lunchbox yet, please get it, yeap please get it you get every day, the packages that you want kids to be able to open the drink boxes, you want them to put the straws in, do all that thing, right? Like, open the cheese string until just a corner of the cheese is open. Right? So those are tricky. They are me. Open the bear paws or the whatever, whatever packages, the made goods, whatever. Yeah, open them till there's just the crack of air gone, right, because then they record the rest of it, they did themselves. So make sure you're getting the things that they need to do and assume. I'm not saying this is always gonna be the case, but assume that an adult can't help them. If an adult can help them great and it works out. But assume that's not the option and that you're building skills so your children can do it independently. So we've got lunch, and then coats zippers. Yeah, things like that. Yeah. And then we talked about speaking your needs making sure we practice washroom, asking for washrooms showing that transfer of responsibility and trust relationship No. And then in terms of self regulation, what could they work on this summer? Well see and I think that has to do it that loops in very tightly with with speaking. I feel angry. I feel sad so that when the classroom grownup comes and says, I see angry eyes, angry eyes. And as I have on my desk, a brand new anchor book, when I see read, have you seen this book? Yes, it's amazing. If you can see my desk right now. Like I have stacks of picture books beside me all about feelings. Because feelings are important. When the grownup comes, says I see angry eyes, I see two friends who are not. And I'm like vocalize and my vocalizing what I see these body clues, I see these friends. Right? Not saying saying unkind words, right? The children, the students, the children, the precious littles because yes, are there need to be able to say yes, I feel angry and actually say, yeah, what is actually happening? And this is why like, self reg is like a lifelong journey. Right? For sure. Because they need to see what is actually happening. Right? We've got we've got your feelings, you're upset. You're mad, because it's obvious. Those are obvious. Right? Right. So the grown up will hopefully and this was always my, this is always is not isn't was always my approach was to say, Okay, what's actually happening here? I had the My Little Pony. You made the mountain, and then you child two tuck the pony to go up the mountain, right? And child one is sad, because they don't have the pony anymore. Okay, well, let's pause right there. Right and child, one, what would you like to have happen child two, they need to be able to say that, right? without crying, and being beyond without being beyond words with the same action, how they're going to move through it, right. And that's the language of play I'm hearing a lot about that's like the language of play, and then being able to facilitate or build. Now, if your child doesn't know how to speak their emotions, they won't be able to by September. This is a journey to start. And I think, sort of the piece I can add here is this is where your narration is so important. And also in the shownotes, I will put my top favorite books for starting to build this. So there's, I find, there's two great ways to build the sort of language of emotions, I call it one way is by narration. So we need to speak more about our inner voice out. And that's example that you just said, I see these angry eyes, right? We as adults, if the more we can model what different feelings look like, the more helpful it is for children to be like, Oh, excited, mad, frustrated, you know, sad, scared, right? They're starting to build those out. And in the beginning, they only have the basics. Mad, sad, happy, scared, right? And happy is the epitome of our culture. And I'm trying to change it to calm right. But we think everything is based on happiness. So that's where kids start in their social emotional intelligence, then we have to help them build out the layer. So one way we do that is narration. Another great way is that we get books, and why books are so effective is they have a visual kids are visual, right? They're not great with abstract, right, we can have lots of conversations and things that are happening in the moment. But if we can help build out their feelings words, you know, through some great books, the way I feel Janan Cain is one of my absolute favorite books. But there's a whole bunch that I'll throw in the show notes. So grab a couple from the library. You don't have to buy them, go grab them from the library, and read them with your child to start building that relationship around. Oh, at breakfast this morning, when we didn't have XYZ cereal. You had some feelings? They were like, Yeah, I had disappointed feelings, right, getting them to start to associate what they are thinking what they're feeling. So I'm doing that in a safe space right about breakfast. Great. Yeah, exactly. Alright, car ride to the grocery store. They didn't get to pass. Right? Your favorite place because you took a different route. Right? Because the original reaction is probably crying, yelling frustration, right? That's the go to for uncomfortable feelings until we build language and tools for it is that and I think what I'm hearing you say is when I have a roomful of kids, and I'm trying to problem solve with them. If everybody's crying I can't problem solve, so I need them to know that when they have disappointed feelings. I'm really you know, frustrated that the person climbed the mountain without me is the Tron proponent. Sorry, the little pony. My apologies. Awesome. All right. Before we finish off here, is there any sort of last thoughts you have or like, Let's Get Ready for Kindergarten. Let's get ready. Let's see. And the other thing I wanted I was thinking about this and like, yes, please practice doing the things by yourself with support. Absolutely. It should be easy. Not okay. You're going to school. This is happening. Yeah, no, you have to do to slowly. Take the whole month of August slowly build that. Yeah. Have a picnic lunch on Saturday. Right at the table with your lunchbox Make it fun! However this is organized. Yes, yes. Good point. But the other thing I really wanted, it's so so important. And I always as a kindergarten teacher, my favorite and I do realize that I'm lucky enough, my board still does staggered entry. Okay, Where we have individual meetings, and then they come in with five other families. And then they start so we don't actually have the whole class together until the second week of school. Okay. Oh, cool. That's important time and luxury of spending that time. Go, go, please go? Yes. Because of that, where you start to make the tea nwork between the connection between school and home. Right, your teacher can say, and you can go in and see the washroom, and you can go and talk about the hook and who's right beside you, and where your lineup spot is. Asked the teacher: what social emotional programs do I need to know about? Right? Because me personally, I have seven programs that ran throughout the 10 months, the year, right? Because they kind of loop into each other, and they build on each other and the kids and we have a smooth classroom, but go be be that team, be that team. Be part of the team. So that home knows what's happening at school and school animals what's happening at home, so you can if there's a possibility, you can use the actual same word. Yes, the kid isn't guessing. Well mommy says it's maroon and teacher says it's burgundy. Well, come on, right. Yeah, It's hard. And I think if you can't support that, because I had that in my preschool, I had the parents who could do the transition, and the parents who couldn't write worked and give them. But there was always a way to communicate that. Hey, I want to be a part, like reach out to the teacher, hey, I wasn't able to be there for that process. But I still really want to help support you with some of the language that you use. I'd like to use it with some of the, right?And a teacher who gets a message. It's like, Hey, we're on the same team, and we're working together, in most cases is going to be like yeah, here's, here's the big things in my classroom, that this is how we communicate washroom break. So if you want to, you know, reflect that at home, that will be great, that kind of thing. I think a lot of I mean, one of the things that came up in my group last week is like a lot of people are trying to get playdates together. And one of the things that I was saying is the kids, they kids just make friends wherever they go. High School is a different story. And that was one of the different conversations in our my podcast was like, that's where the big shift to transitions. But kids going into JK they may or may or may not find or sort of it's that's more for the adults, the little pre school, meaning before school, starts meetups are more about the adults connecting with each other because the kids, once they get into that zone, it's like, they're in that space they're. They don't think about relationships the same way we do. They're like more like, What's this place going to be like? How does it work? What's the caring adult doing? That's how they're thinking. That shifts. As we go through the grades, it becomes more about who am I going to meet? Which friends are in my class, all that kind of thing, but that's not a KG mindset. KG is like, Oh, you're here. And I'm really wondering what the routines are gonna be like, what the right they're more in a different headspace. What do I need to do? if you're, you know, worried about making connections for that reason, because I know a lot of people are like, I can't make that work. And they feel really like disappointed and stressed. And I'm like, don't worry if you can't make that work. That's a great adult connection piece. But really for the kids reinforcing some of these things that we've been talking about independence and having a little bit of advocacy voice focusing on a couple sentences, you know, beginning to build our feelings tools, go there, because that's what's going to serve them best when they get there. absolutely amazing. Well, thank you so much for joining me in this conversation. And I'm hoping everybody finds it helpful. If you have questions you can always reach out to email@example.com and I'm happy to to support that. Thank you for joining me Natalie. Oh, this awesome. Want to start the school year with competence connection and still get to work on time? Enroll in my mini course the artist saying goodbye, where I'll help you learn how to say goodbye with confidence. Tackle the one Moore's one more hug one more kiss one more minute, and help you know what to do when everything's going well, until it doesn't. 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